Chapter 5: Reality

The day after the compensatory holiday for the cultural festival.

I got off the jam-packed train and was jostled by the wave of people as I left the station.

The moment I stepped out under the pitch-black, overcast sky, a fierce gust of wind funneled between the buildings, tangling my hair into a mess.

The city wind had turned suddenly cold, with no trace of the heat from the festival remaining. It felt like summer had said its final goodbye.

Combing through my hair with my fingers, I heaved a heavy sigh.

—The cultural festival had been one disaster after another.

But thanks to our hard work, we somehow managed to win the grand prize.

When the results were announced, everyone seemed more relieved than happy, their faces screaming that all they wanted to do was rest. Postponing the after-party was definitely the right call.

I, for my part, was also past my limit, so that day I just collapsed into bed without thinking about anything at all.

I spent a restless night, unable to tell if I’d slept at all. When morning came, my mood hadn't changed, and the holiday passed in a haze of anxiety—and before I knew it, it was just another weekday.

I sighed again, my eyes fixed on the tips of my shoes as they trudged heavily forward.

Honestly… I was dreading going to school.

No matter what, I would have to face Zomu-kun’s public confession.

But it wasn't a problem that would be solved by skipping school, and nothing good would come from running away. All I could do was handle the situation in the best way possible.

…Anyway.

First, I need to get my relationship with Zomu-kun back on stable ground.

I have to talk to him properly. I need to ask him why he did something like that, and what he wants to do from here on out.

We weren't in any state to have a proper conversation on the day of the festival, but we should be able to talk a little more calmly now.

The ideal outcome would be—to pretend the confession never happened and go back to being good friends.

To get back to a place where we can all laugh together again. To start over.

"But, still…"

Now that it's come to this, that's probably—

◆

Before I knew it, I had arrived at school.

A glance at my watch showed it was almost time for the first bell. I usually get here a little earlier; it seemed my pace had slowed unconsciously.

"Haaah…"

I let out what must have been my dozenth sigh and passed through the doors of the school entrance.

Why… why did he have to confess?

I'm sure he knew from the start that I wouldn't accept it. And there was no way I would ever say yes to a confession done in that manner.

It was doomed to fail from the start, so why did he choose to do it?

Really, why… why did things turn out this way?

Where, exactly, did I go wrong?

I thought I'd been making the best possible choice at every turn, so why—

"...There I go again."

Realizing I was caught in the same thought loop that had been spinning all weekend, I shook my head.

Enough. I need to stop thinking about it. I won't find an answer anyway.

For now, just talk to Zomu-kun. I'll think about what comes next after that.

Having made up my mind, I paused in front of the classroom door.

—Act normal with everyone else in class.

They might pry a little, but for now, I'll just deflect and try to explain to people individually when I get the chance.

With a small nod, I slid the door open.

"Morning, everyone."

I entered the classroom with my usual cheerfulness.

Some of my classmates were already inside. As always, I started to head for my seat, planning to exchange greetings with people as I passed—

And for a moment, I felt like I had walked into the wrong classroom.

" " " " " " " " " " "—…" " " " " " " " " " " "

Everyone just glanced at me once.

Not a single person returned my greeting.

"Uh, um…"

The classroom, which had fallen silent for an instant, immediately returned to its usual noisy chatter.

…?

What… is going on?

Confused, I walked to my desk and spoke to the girl in the next seat, Komaba-chan.

"Um… morning, Komaba-chan."

"…Morning."

…Good. She responded this time.

I breathed a small sigh of relief, but Komaba-chan immediately turned her face away without another word. It was unusual for her not to make even a little small talk.

I set my bag on my desk and scanned the room.

Zomu-kun… isn't here. His bag is, so he must have just stepped out for a moment.

It doesn't look like Mii-chan is here either. The only one from our group present was Oomori-kun, who, as usual, was sitting alone in the back, fiddling with his phone.

Mattsun's seat was also empty. She’d told me on LINE that she was stopping by the hospital first, so I guess she'll be late.

Next, I tried to gauge the expressions of my classmates, who had been acting so strangely.

Some had resumed their conversations as if that silence had never happened, some had their eyes glued to their worksheets, and some were giving me awkward glances—

And then there were those who were glaring at me with obvious displeasure.

—They were the girls who had crushes on Zomu-kun.

"…"

The palpable hostility in the air made it hard to breathe.

…I had anticipated this might happen.

I knew how they felt, and every time they asked if Zomu-kun and I were a thing, I'd repeatedly denied it.

Worse, a few of them had even come to me for advice, and I'd given it. That confession, which must have felt like a betrayal of their trust, had surely struck a nerve.

I'll have to go around and apologize properly…

Feeling another weight settle on my shoulders, I sank deep into my chair.

—Soon after, the first bell rang, and morning homeroom began.

Maybe because he found it hard to be in the classroom, Zomu-kun returned at the last possible second and sat down at his desk without a word.

From the corner of my eye, I could see his face was clearly drained of all life. He looked anything but okay.

…Why did things turn out like this—?

◆

Lunch break.

Steeling my resolve, I stood up and left the classroom.

I had already sent Zomu-kun a message on LINE: 'I want to talk properly. Please come to the area next to the tennis courts.' There was no turning back now.

I left the noisy school building and headed out back to where the tennis courts were. It was usually empty around here during lunchtime, so we should be able to talk without being disturbed.

I sat down on a nearby bench, waiting for Zomu-kun as I looked up at the cloudy sky with a heavy heart.

"—Mei."

Squeeze.

That voice, which should have been so familiar, made my chest tighten.

"...Zomu-kun."

In response to my greeting, Zomu-kun averted his gaze awkwardly, then walked over with his hands in his pockets.

His pockets were bulging unnaturally; I'm sure his hands inside were clenched into tight fists.

Wanting to help him relax, even a little, I softened my expression and began to speak slowly.

"Thanks for coming. I really wanted to talk to you."

"…"

"Want to sit?"

"…No, I'm good."

He said, standing diagonally in front of me.

The profile I looked up at was still pained.

His usual innocent smile was nowhere to be seen.

"...I'm sorry. I'm really, truly sorry."

"Why are you apologizing, Mei? This is all my fault."

I bit my lip at his dismissive tone.

"Even so… I'm the one who hurt you. I'm the one who couldn't live up to your expectations. So… I'm sorry."

"…"

"But, why…? You must have known this would happen. Why did you do… that?"

At my question, Zomu-kun let out a sigh and answered with a shrug.

"I'm an idiot… I'm not really a fan of holding back."

He said, snorting softly.

"Holding back…?"

"Holding back my own feelings."

Then Zomu-kun looked up at the sky and began to speak.

"The thing is… I've always liked you. Ever since our first year."

"…"

"At first it was just a shallow thing, like, 'Whoa, she's crazy beautiful, I wanna get to know her.' But then, after spending time with you… you were twice as beautiful, ten times cooler, and a hundred times kinder than I ever expected—"

"…"

"And you were ten thousand times stronger than I ever could have imagined. To the point where I thought I'd probably never meet anyone better in my entire life."

…Strong, huh?

If I were truly strong, things wouldn't have ended up like this…

"I thought maybe if I was with you, I could become strong, too. And if that happened, maybe one day I'd be worthy of you. That's what I was thinking."

"Lame, I know," Zomu-kun added, as if spitting the words out.

"So I wanted to stay in the closest spot to you, no matter what. I figured even if we couldn't date, we could at least be friends. So I played the part of the understanding guy, which isn't like me at all, and somehow managed to hold on to that position and nothing else."

"…"

"But, you know—"

I heard the sound of him grinding his teeth.

"I just always thought Asahi was on another level. He's smart, unlike me, and he's amazing in all sorts of other ways, right? So I figured… he had a much better shot at getting close to you than I did…"

Ah—

So that's why.

"So… I started thinking, if he beat me to it, it'd be over for me."

I knew it…

That was the trigger.

Zomu-kun let out another breath and spoke.

"But you never let me just confront things head-on, Mei. That's the only way I know how to do things, so when you shut that down, I don't know what to do."

"…"

"So I figured, if I told you in a place where you absolutely couldn't run away, you'd have to give me an answer. As for why I did it… that's pretty much it."

Having said all that, Zomu-kun looked up at the sky again.

I squeezed the hands resting on my lap.

But—if that's the case.

"...I don't get it. Even if that's true, doing something like that… it was never going to make things better."

If his goal was to be the person closest to me, then his choice was still a mistake.

Because now our relationship has gotten worse.

It was obvious it would get worse.

And yet… why…

"I just don't get it…"

"...I guess not. But hey, that's just who you are, Mei."

Zomu-kun shrugged as if he'd known I would say that and pulled his hands out of his pockets.

Before I could ask what he meant, he shouted, as if to cast off all hesitation.

"Aaargh! I guess I'll never be a guy strong enough to date someone like you, Mei!"

His voice echoed off the school building.

A few students peeked out from the windows, wondering what all the commotion was about.

"Z-Zomu-kun…?"

"No matter what I do, I'll probably just keep messing up like this time. And that would just cause you trouble, wouldn't it, Mei?"

A chill ran down my spine at his words.

The choice I had wanted to avoid at all costs flashed through my mind.

"So, this is it. —I'm gonna stop getting close to you."

"…!"

And just as I'd expected.

The final, complete words of parting.

…No.

Don't, Zomu-kun.

"Isn't there… isn't there some other, better choice—"

"No, there isn't."

His sharp retort was a clear rejection, and a small gasp escaped my throat.

"Why…!"

"Because… I just can't do it. I can't take any more of this."

"It's not cool to stay friends after getting rejected, anyway," Zomu-kun continued.

I understand how he feels.

I know that staying by my side would only hurt him. That it would just make him miserable.

But—please.

Let's just try to think of another way…

There has to be a better path.

An ideal choice where we can all laugh together again—

"See ya. It was a lot of fun."

With a flippant, cheerful tone, he turned his back to leave.

"Zomu-ku—"

I didn't know what words could possibly reach him—

"Someone like me…

The truth is, I'm just a weak, ordinary guy who wants to be liked…"

The face I saw when he glanced back over his shoulder, the words tumbling out, was—

A face that tried to form a smile, but only looked more pained for it—

A face twisted with frustration.

◆

After Zomu-kun left.

I didn't even have the appetite to eat, so I just spent the rest of my lunch break staring blankly from the bench.

The voices of students enjoying their break didn't reach me here. The only sound was a distant hum, like the air itself was trembling.

There it was again… ordinary.

For a while now, Zomu-kun's words had been stuck on a loop in my mind, refusing to leave.

Oomori-kun had once told me that I wasn't ordinary.

At the time, I didn't think that was true.

Even now, I don't think there's anything different about me compared to everyone else.

But… if I can't understand the reasoning behind Zomu-kun's choice, does that mean something about me really is different from everyone else?

Then what is that "something"?

My abilities? My personality? Or is it the way I think?

Is that "something" that makes me different the reason things ended up like this…?

—Kiiin koooon kaaankoooon.

The ringing of the warning bell finally broke my train of thought.

…I need to get back.

I somehow managed to push myself up from the bench and began to walk, my feet dragging.

In the school hallways, the laughter of students and the chatter spilling from classrooms washed over me, but right now, it all felt distant, as if I were hearing it through a thick wall.

—Click.

I opened the closed classroom door and went inside.

With lunch break nearly over, most of my classmates were already there. But Zomu-kun, who should have returned before me, was nowhere to be seen.

…I hope he comes back for class.

His grades are already not that great. If he skips, he'll fall behind.

And I… probably… can't help him anymore…

I pressed a hand to my aching chest and looked around.

It looked like Mii-chan and Oomori-kun were also gone. They had probably just stepped out for lunch, but right now, I couldn't help but feel a sense of dread.

"—Seriously, I can't believe her."

"You should say something to her."

"Yeah, you have every right to, Mattsun."

—Fragments of a conversation drifted over from a huddle of students in the middle of the room.

I looked and saw Mattsun at the center of the group.

…Oh, good. Mattsun made it to school okay.

Feeling a little lighter, I approached the group.

I had briefly explained the situation on LINE, but I still hadn't properly apologized.

It's better to do these things sooner rather than later. I decided to put my own feelings aside and apologize properly.

"Mattsun, is your condit—"

"Mei. Why did you steal the lead role from me?"

Suddenly.

The anger-laced words hit me, and my mind went blank.

"…………, Huh?"

"Don't 'huh' me…!"

As soon as Mattsun saw me, her emotions flared, and she glared at me fiercely.

"This is… this is too cruel…! After telling me to do my best and everything…!"

"W-Wait…"

Thrown into a situation I never could have imagined, my thoughts descended into panic.

"I-Is there some kind of misunderstanding? Why would you say that—"

"Then why?! How were you so conveniently able to be the understudy at that exact moment?!"

Conveniently? The understudy?

As I stood there, speechless, the other girls around her began to chime in.

"And you jumped at the chance so quickly."

"It's like you were prepared for it all along."

"You were definitely aiming for it from the start, weren't you?"

"E-Everyone, calm down. Just calm down!"

I raised my voice without thinking, then quickly clamped my mouth shut.

Wait… I'm the one who needs to calm down.

I took one deep breath to steady myself and forced my brain to work.

Looking closer, I saw that the girls around Mattsun were all the ones who had crushes on Zomu-kun.

I probably explained things in a way that created some kind of misunderstanding. And now their interpretation of events has become a complete mess.

I have to calm down, explain things one by one, and clear up this misunderstanding.

"Okay… first of all, right? There's no way I would want to steal the lead role. If I wanted to be the star, I would have volunteered from the beginning."

"You probably changed your mind halfway through."

"And the most suspicious thing is that you had the lead's lines memorized perfectly."

"And wasn't the decision to switch actors made way too fast?"

"N-No, no, wait, wait!"

Three different responses came at me at once, and I faltered.

It seemed none of them were calm. It felt like they were arguing backward from a conclusion they'd already reached.

O-Okay, one thing at a time…

"About the lines, well, I was the director, so I memorized everyone's parts, not just the lead's. So it's not like I offered to be the understudy because it was the lead role—"

"Wow… that was a subtle dig."

"And you should have asked the other actors first, shouldn't you? 'Is there anyone who can take over the lead role?'"

"Yeah, that's the proper way to do things."

"There was no need for you to suddenly declare you'd do it yourself, was there?"

"Uh, um, well, that's because…"

Wh-What… where do I even start to answer?

As I hesitated—

"In the end, it just means you don't trust us at all, right?"

—Suddenly.

Those words, coming from directly behind me, brought my thoughts to a halt once again.

"K-Komaba-chan…?"

I turned around to see Komaba-chan with a bored expression on her face.

"You never ask for help when you're in trouble, do you, Kiyosato? You just decide everything on your own."

"Th-That's not my intention…"

"It was the same with the food stall. Did you tell anyone about the emergency budget?"

"…Um, well, that's…"

That was a lie I’d made up on the spot. Since it was a lie, of course I hadn’t told anyone.

But if I told them I'd actually paid for it myself, it would just sound like I was rubbing it in. Besides, if I said that, Kamiizumi-chan, the one who made the mistake, would be completely humiliated.

"…Um…"

"See? You can't answer. That's as good as admitting it's true."

With a snort, Komaba-chan turned her face away.

I glanced around and saw that the entire class was staring at me.

In the now-silent classroom, the expressions on everyone's faces were anything but friendly.

A sickening feeling began to creep up my throat.

This… this atmosphere.

This is bad.

"…Knew it."

"See? I told you, didn't I?"

"I thought something was off about her for a while now…"

"So she really was looking down on us this whole time?"

"Ugh… I can't believe it."

—Ah, this is no good.

If this atmosphere continues…

Things will become irreversible.

My instincts screamed at me, and I raised my voice.

"A-And anyway! There's no way I could have predicted that Mattsun would get sick. So it's impossible for me to have planned to take her place!"

"You took the supervisor job from me for that reason, didn't you?"

This time, the sneak attack came from my side.

"Tacky…!"

"You did that so you could control the assignments for the day, right? So you could deliberately give Matsubara the hardest job."

"What? Wh-What are you talking about?!"

The argument was so outrageous that I was at a loss for words.

"There's no way I'd do that! What's gotten into you, Tacky…!"

"You pretended to be worried about me… but inside, you were probably thinking I was useless, looking down on me, weren't you?"

His words were like a spit in my face, and a sharp pain shot through my chest.

Why…

Why is everyone, all of a sudden, being like this—

"Is that why you always want to be the leader?"

"Otherwise, no one would volunteer for such a troublesome job."

"The worst…"

"Putting on a 'good girl' act, but you're just rotten inside."

"Yeah, it happens. The type with a pure and innocent face who's actually scheming and manipulative."

"What do you think people are? We're not your game pieces."

"No… that's not it, everyone, wait…"

There was too much information to process at once; my brain couldn't keep up.

There were too many things I had to say, and I didn't know where to begin.

"I just… wanted the cultural festival… to be a success…"

"Huh? After you ruined it yourself?"

"You're saying that after turning the play into your personal drama?"

"Right? We're not here just to make you stand out."

"That grand prize doesn't make me happy at all."

"It's not like it was our achievement."

"Let's just give it back. Return it."

"Ahaha, that would be unprecedented!"

"Ah, ugh…"

The world twisted and warped around me.

"Why… why, everyone—"

Why are you all thinking like that?

Why do you always jump to the worst possible conclusion?

Why do you always go down the path where no one, not a single person, can smile—?

"I just… want everyone to smile…"

That was all.

Just that, always.

I just always, always hoped that everyone could smile, as much as possible.

That's all it was.

"What are you even talking about at this point?"

"How can we smile after you've done this to us?"

"Yeah, she's definitely weird somewhere."

"She's strange, really strange."

"No way, just no."

"That's crazy."

"She's a freak."

"Scary."

"Don't wanna get near her."

"Impossible."

"So harsh."

"Unbelievable."

"And annoying."

What… should I do…

What should I do, what should I do.

What should I do—!

"—Hey! What the hell do you think you're doing?!"

—

Before me, a boy's back.

"Why would you…! Mei hasn't done anything wrong! If you're gonna blame someone, blame me!"

Silence—

"Are you guys serious right now?! After relying on Mei for everything up until now…!"

—Ah, ahh.

He said he was done.

He said he wouldn't get involved anymore.

Why.

Why, Zomu-kun.

"Don't just stand there, say something! You idiots!"

Why—

At this, the absolute worst, possible, moment.

Are you… protecting me?

"—How long are you going to keep playing the main character and the heroine? Get real already."

It was muttered, under someone's breath.

The collective voice of the class.

—And with that, everything ended.

—

—…

"Alright, let's start class. Everyone in your seats."

The atmosphere, which felt like it would last an eternity, was dispelled by the teacher who walked in with the bell.

As I stumbled back to my own seat.

I saw Oomori-kun standing by the classroom entrance with his arms crossed, and our eyes met.

—See? I told you so.

The words just naturally popped into my head.

◆

"—Yes. That's right, a cancellation for one person. Thank you."

In the empty, after-school classroom.

I pulled the phone away from my ear, ending the call with the karaoke place we'd booked for the after-party.

There was no way the atmosphere would be okay with me there. It was better to handle it now while there was no cancellation fee.

I'll ask the vice-rep, Ta—Mii-chan, to run things on the day. I'll have to ask her later.

As I made these mechanical decisions, I stared blankly out the window.

The schoolyard below was growing dark, filled with students practicing for their clubs. The rhythmic chants of a group running laps sounded muffled through the glass window.

This is the first time… I've ever skipped my club practice.

Good thing it was after the tournament. My being absent wouldn't cause trouble for anyone.

"—Do you understand reality now?"

The sudden question sent a jolt of pain through my chest.

I looked up, and there—

"...Oomori-kun."

Looking bored, almost exasperated.

Just like during the day, Oomori-kun was standing there, leaning against the classroom door.

"This is the reality of the people you were trying to make smile, Kiyosato. Every last one of them is just pissed that you were the only one who stood out during the festival."

"…"

"And to begin with, they were just feeding off your scraps. The moment that stops, they turn on you in a second. That's how they are."

"It's pathetic," he spat.

"And they'll never make the effort to get things on their own. They just try to drag down the ones who have what they don't. It's easier that way, and I guess attacking others makes them feel good."

"…"

"How you really felt, Kiyosato, or how much they've been helped by you in the past—none of that matters to them. All they care about is whether or not they feel good."

"…"

"Do you really think there's any need to try so hard for people like that? There's absolutely none, right?"

I bit my lip.

Oomori-kun's words were making my head spin.

"But hey… at least this is a clean break, right? They're the ones offering to cut ties."

Then, Oomori-kun's mocking expression suddenly vanished as he continued.

"That Mitaka guy… he did his best, for an idiot. But it's doubtful he can keep that up. He's a people-pleaser at heart, that one."

"…"

"But… for me, at least."

And then, with a serious face.

He said it.

"As long as I can be the one laughing with you, Kiyosato, that's all I need… but whatever."

—Ah.

I covered my face with both hands.

Wanting to look away from it all.

…No, that’s not okay.

You can’t say that.

Because, because, if you do—

"—That's impossible."

—Mii-chan…

And everyone else who isn't us…

They won't be able to smile anymore.

"No matter how… no matter how much everyone comes to hate me."

—That's why.

I.

Even so.

"Even so, I want everyone… to be happy and laughing."

Because that ideal is definitely not wrong.

Because if that ideal was wrong—

"I want them… to smile…"

—I wouldn't be able to face the people I hurt in the name of that ideal, the people I couldn't include.

"…Whatever."

Oomori-kun turned his face away.

"Then… do what you want. I'm not eccentric enough to humor someone with a death wish."

Without looking at me, he stood up.

"I'm not that much of a freak. …Because I couldn't become one."

"See you," he said.

And with just those words, his voice devoid of emotion, he left the classroom.

—And after that.

We never laughed together again.

◆

After hearing the broadcast announcing the final call to leave school, I left the classroom.

I walked alone down the darkening hallway as the lights began to turn off.

There was no one else in the school. In fact, before I knew it, even the schoolyard had been swallowed by darkness, and the students from the sports clubs were gone.

—I was just so tired.

There were so many things I needed to think about.

But for today, I would stop thinking.

Tomorrow. I'll sleep, wake up, and then sort through it all, one thing at a time.

Having decided that, I stepped out of the school gates—

"Well, well~? Fancy seeing you here, Kiyosato-saaan?"

And then.

Along with the sweet scent of vanilla, a soft, fluffy voice reached my ears.

"...Ririko-chan."

I looked over and saw Ririko-chan standing alone, leaning against the gatepost.

"You're late~ What were you doing until so late, skipping your club practice and all~?"

Heh, heh, she let out a suppressed laugh and continued.

"Juuust kidding~ The truth is, I happened to overhear you and Asahi having a little secret chat in the Class A classroom earlier~"

"…"

"It sounded like a super serious, 'this is goodbye' kind of talk, you know? I thought, 'Oh, how pitiful,' so I came to comfort you~"

Her malice-filled words made my sunken heart stir uneasily.

…I really don't want to talk right now.

"...Sorry. I'm going home now."

"And~? Rumor has it you got into a fight with Zomu-kun, too~? Gosh, getting rejected in front of everyone, Zomu-kun is just sooooo pitiful."

"In that case… you should go to Zomu-kun. I'm fine."

"Of course! I'll be sure to support him properly~ So you don't have to worry, Kiyosato-san, okay~?"

Ririko-chan was smirking, staring at me as if to gauge my reaction.

"...Ririko-chan."

I opened my mouth, my voice heavy.

"Hmmm? What is it~?"

She tilted her head, looking amused.

And to that Ririko-chan, I—

"—Please. I'm begging you, take care of Zomu-kun… and make sure he can smile again."

I said, bowing my head.

Ririko-chan fell silent, as if caught completely off guard.

"…Haaaah."

And then, she let out a long sigh.

She lifted her long hair, as if annoyed—

And tucked it behind her right ear.

"After all this, you're still saying that? You're seriously messed up."

Her face was stained with disgust.

For the first time, she let her true nature show, and she cornered me.

"Aaargh, you're so damn annoying! How can you be such a saint? Are you even human?"

"Wh-What?"

As I stood there, bewildered by her sudden change in attitude, Ririko-chan clicked her tongue in disgust and shoved me against the gatepost.

BAM! She slammed her hand against the wall behind me and brought her face close.

"You could at least act a little frustrated! Why do I, the one who came here to declare victory, have to be the one who feels pathetic?!"

"Wh-What's wrong? Why all of a sudden…"

"Do you get it? You were set up by me."

—Set up?

The ominous ring of those words made my heart clench.

"What do you… mean?"

"Exactly what I said. Ever since the pool, you guys have been led around by the nose by me."

A chill ran down my spine.

Led around…?

"The reason I provoked Asahi was all for that. I knew if I made fun of you in front of him, he'd definitely get pissed and step in."

What…?!

"H-How did you—"

"How? Because I knew how Asahi felt about you from the very beginning."

—Thump.

And then, Ririko-chan smirked.

"And. I figured if Zomu-kun saw him acting all cool and protecting you, he'd definitely start to panic. It was obvious just by watching them that they saw each other as rivals."

"…"

"But the home-ec room incident was hilarious, it worked out so perfectly. I heard Zomu-kun and his friends were coming, so I made a point of talking to you—"

Ah…

"And then, as I was provoking you, I saw them show up at the perfect time, you know? The moment Asahi and I made eye contact, he jumped in without a moment's hesitation."

With a look of genuine amusement, Ririko-chan continued to reveal her scheme.

"On the other hand, sweet, gentle Zomu-kun just stopped in his tracks, not wanting to make a scene. He was already feeling guilty about that, and then, as the final blow, he saw you and Asahi having a secret meeting, which made him rush into things. That's about the gist of it? Well, I didn't think he'd do something as showy as a public confession, though."

Zomu-kun is surprisingly dreamy and cute, you know~ she added.

"I knew from the start you had no intention of accepting his confession, see? I just wanted Zomu-kun to learn a painful lesson and wake up, so I thought, 'Oh, perfect~'"

"And that's that," Ririko-chan said, spreading her hands wide with a theatrical flourish.

I muttered, completely stunned.

"Why… Why would you, Ririko-chan, do something so—"

"So dirty? Is that what you were going to say?"

She snorted and scoffed as if the idea was ridiculous.

"Because I'm a petty, nasty person. It suits me, doesn't it? This kind of sneaky scheme."

"…"

"But, you know. Everyone's like that, aren't they?"

Everyone… is like that?

Ririko-chan stated it boldly, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Is there anyone in this world who isn't a bad person? Everyone has people they hate and don't want to talk to, and when they like someone, they're willing to kick others down to get them."

And then—

"That's what's ordinary. Unlike an angel like you, who lives in a different world, see?"

—Ah, ugh.

That's… ordinary?

To deliberately act so cruelly… that's what's ordinary…?

As I stood there in silence, Ririko-chan's lips twisted into a hateful smirk.

"Besides, for people like me, we can't get what we want just by playing nice."

She clenched her teeth hard, her eyes narrowing as she glared at me up close.

In the depths of her eyes, I could see a raging fury.

"I learned how to dress up to match his tastes, I studied hard, I worked hard at sports, and even when he still wouldn't look at me, I even dated an upperclassman just to try and make him jealous…! I've been trying so damn hard, so don't you dare show up out of nowhere and try to take everything without a single ounce of effort!!"

Ah…

Could it be…

The two of them had known each other since elementary school.

They had known each other for far longer than I had.

So—

The possibility hit me instinctively, and the words escaped my lips.

"Ririko-chan… you've been in love with Zomu-kun… for a very long time, haven't you…?"

"—"

Ririko-chan didn't answer.

Instead, she let out a long, deep breath as if to calm herself, then combed the hair she had tucked behind her ear back into place.

"Ugh, I got all weirdly emotional. I was hoping to show you a slightly more human side, but you stayed the perfect 'good girl' to the very end. It's a real turn-off."

"...Ririko-chan."

"Just forget everything I just said, it was all a joke, okay? Not that it matters what you say now, the situation won't change."

"Byee~" Ririko-chan said, turning on her heel with a lazy wave of her hand.

"Oh, right. While I'm at it~ I'll tell you one last thing~" she said, stopping as if she'd just remembered something.

And then, just as a cruel smile spread across her face—

"The reason I'm so well-informed about your situation—why do you think that is?"

◆

—The next day, after school.

"—The after-party is at the usual place. I've already made a reservation under my name."

I had arranged to meet Mii-chan, and we had come to a small park on the grounds of a shrine near the school.

It was a quiet spot, just a short walk from the main street, where the two of us would sometimes eat snacks or just chat leisurely.

All I had to do was hand things over, so we could have talked at school, but since the final bell was about to ring, we decided to leave campus just in case.

In the dim park, with the sun already set, I continued my explanation.

"And then, you can decide on a place for the after-after-party based on how many people want to go."

"…"

"If you want to keep singing karaoke, that's fine, but if you want to get food or tea, I've made a list of a few potential places nearby. I'll send it to you later."

"…"

Mii-chan, sitting on the bench next to me, had been silent the whole time.

Here, the dense trees blocked the light from the streetlamps and buildings. A single light in the center of the park flickered, illuminating her profile.

Her expression was hidden by her bangs, so I couldn't see it clearly.

But—I could tell she was biting her lip.

"...Mii-chan, are you okay? Are you not feeling well?"

"…"

She had been like this ever since we met up.

She seemed fine during the day, so maybe something happened during her library committee duties.

Could it be more trouble…

I asked, worried.

"Mii-chan, if something happened—"

"Why are you acting like nothing's wrong, Mei?"

—Suddenly, she cut me off.

A small gasp caught in my throat, and I fell silent.

"You heard from Ririko, didn't you? —That I've been betraying you this whole time."

Mii-chan looked up and met my gaze.

Her… beautiful, pitch-black eyes.

They were deeper, heavier than I had ever seen them before.

It was as if they held a deep darkness.

"...What are you talking about?"

"Don't play dumb. I heard it from her myself."

—!

Ririko-chan, why…!

"You told her you'd 'pretend you didn't hear it,' didn't you? You even said something like, 'If you don't make this a joke, then I can't make what happened earlier a joke,' which is a rare threat, coming from you."

"…"

"But there's no way she'd do what you want, Mei. She saw right through you from the start—knew you couldn't even bring yourself to hurt her."

"Mii-chan…"

Why? I mouthed, my voice gone, and clenched my hands into tight fists.

—According to what she told me yesterday.

Without my knowledge, Mii-chan and Ririko-chan had apparently been secretly working together.

They were in the same class last year but hadn't interacted much. It seems Ririko was the one who approached her after our group of four formed this year.

Ririko, wanting to know about Zomu-kun's and my movements, took advantage of the fact that Mii-chan wanted to get closer to Oomori-kun. She offered to support her behind the scenes in exchange for information.

And Mii-chan accepted, and they had been in contact frequently ever since.

Which meant, that day during summer break.

The truth was, Ririko suddenly showed up at Summer Park because Mii-chan had told her their plans.

"—Ririko told me… 'The way things are now, Oomori-kun will get bored of you.'"

Mii-chan began to speak in a halting, confessional tone.

"I denied it, told her that wasn't true. I thought that Oomori-kun saw me for who I was, and had accepted me."

She looked down, her hands clenched tightly.

"But… then she said this to me. 'Because there's someone far more charming right beside you.'"

"…!"

That means—

Mii-chan's eyes narrowed sadly, and she whispered, her voice strained.

"I—I saw it from the very beginning. I watched as Oomori-kun was drawn to you, Mei."

"…!"

"The more time passed, the more I could see him falling for you, Mei. No matter what I did, no matter how hard I tried, his feelings just drifted further and further away."

"…"

"It was so painful… and I was so scared. But at the same time, a part of me felt like it was inevitable. Because it's you, Mei. Between you and me, there's no way I could ever compete."

Squeeze.

Mii-chan's hands balled into fists, crumpling her skirt.

"It was then—that Ririko came to me and said, 'There's a way to stop this from going any further.'"

"...Ah…"

"She said if I did as she said, Oomori-kun would distance himself from you, Mei. That Ririko would get Mitaka-kun, and I would get Oomori-kun."

—And then.

Mii-chan looked at me, her voice turning to ice.

"So I… I decided to go along with that awful plan of Ririko's."

Just like that—

She confessed her choice, clear as day.

"...Mii-chan…"

"Even if it meant hurting my friend Mitaka-kun, even if it meant hurting my best friend Mei, even if it meant hurting the person I love, Oomori-kun—I made the worst possible choice, the one where I'd be the only one smiling in the end."

And then, Mii-chan.

"Because… because."

Her face crumpled.

"When it came to that…!"

A single tear spilled from her eye.

"When it came to love… that was the one thing...! I just didn't want to lose to you, Mei...!"

—Painfully, stubbornly.

With eyes filled with a fierce, burning love, she pierced me—her enemy.

…Ah.

She really is… so incredibly strong-willed, isn't she…

Mii-chan sniffled, then spoke again.

"But… I never thought it would turn into such a huge mess… Mei, you haven't done anything wrong. I'm the only one to blame—"

Then, she slowly stood up.

"I know it's too late to apologize. So—"

She turned her back to me.

"The worst kind of traitor… will be gone now."

Mii-chan.

Mii-chan, too.

Was leaving.

"Wait—"

I reached out my hand instinctively.

But—

It fell just short.

"Thank you, for being friends with someone like me for so long. —Goodbye."

And just like that, I—

I had become unable to even laugh with my best friend.

—

—…

…No.

No, no, no.

"—Mii-chan!"

"Eh…?"

There's no way I'm accepting this—!

I shot to my feet, ran, and wrapped my arms around Mii-chan from behind.

And then—

"I forgive you for everything—everything!"

—That's right.

No matter how big the mistake.

No matter how irreversible things seem. No matter if an apology isn't enough.

We're best friends—

Of course I'd forgive you for anything. It's what we do.

"I'm sorry… I'm so, so sorry! I'm the one who's in the wrong…!"

"…"

"I should have talked to you properly! I shouldn't have been so presumptuous, I should have actually talked things through with you!"

"…"

"So please, don't just blame yourself…! Mii-chan, you didn't do anything strange at all. You were just desperate, fighting for your love, for your feelings!"

"…"

"You're not a terrible person, Mii-chan! So please, don't put yourself down, don't lose that strength you have. Be proud, hold your head high!"

"…"

"And then… let's try our best again, together. Okay?"

I moved around to face her and took her hands firmly in mine.

—If only.

If only Mii-chan would stay with me.

Even in this terrible, even worse than terrible situation.

"I'll—I'll turn this around with everything I have and more. I'll make our ideal school life, where everyone can laugh together, a reality—I swear I w—"

"Just stop it!!"

SLAP—.

A sharp, dry sound echoed through the air.

"—…Huh?"

First, a slow stinging sensation spread across my palm.

Then, I realized that the hand I had been holding had been slapped away—

"Why…?"

—And I knew.

My best friend, Mii-chan, had rejected me.

"I can't… I can't take it anymore! I'm at my limit!"

Mii-chan screamed, covering her ears with both hands.

"M-Mii-cha—"

"Don't shove your ideals in my face anymore!"

—…

"I'm not you, Mei! There's no way I can keep striving for the ideal all the time, like you do!"

Fiercely, intensely.

She glared at me with an expression I had never seen before, and I flinched.

"It's always ideals with you, Mei! Always! You don't just hold yourself to them—you demand them from everyone around you, all the time!"

"Ah… ah…"

"You're the only one who can do that, Mei! The only one who's always right, who never falters no matter how unfair things get, who never gives up and only ever looks at the ideal!"

Her hair was a mess, her face streaked with tears—

"When you do that…! It makes me feel like I'm a truly awful person for not being able to be like you! Pathetic and vile and small! It makes me think that's why the person I like was stolen from me!"

Mii-chan covered her face with her hands and screamed.

"I know I just need to try harder…! But even though I know, I can't do it! I'm not you, Mei, and I'm not the protagonist of some young adult novel! I'm just an ordinary, insignificant person, no different from anyone else in our class!"

—Ah.

"You, Mei… you're the only one who isn't ordinary!

Having ideals constantly shoved in my face, having them forced on me—there's no way an ordinary person can stand being around someone like that—!!"

With that final scream.

My best friend, Mii-chan, turned her back on me—her ideal—and ran.

Away from the pitch-black park, toward the lights of the city.

Running as if to shake off the darkness.

…Oh, I see.

So that's how it was.

I was alone.

In the empty park.

Mii-chan's words—

The words of my best friend, who had been closer to me than anyone.

With that one sentence.

I understood everything.

—The reason I had made it impossible for everyone to smile.

The reason I wasn't ordinary.

An ideal reality, one of ultimate happiness where everyone could laugh together—

I kept trying my hardest to create that ideal reality.

Never compromising, never faltering.

Always staying true to myself, no matter what.

Thinking only of achieving that ideal, I kept running.

I only ever chose the ideal.

My very way of being, where I could only ever choose the ideal.

—That was what had made it impossible for everyone to smile.

"Aha, ha…"

So, that means—

"Just by being involved with them. I'm the reason they can't smile anymore, isn't that right…—"